MY DOUBLE LIFE

Two weeks in, and I feel like some kind of backwards superhero. Mild mannered six days a week, but on that other day,  WATCH OUT!  Tomorrow, I'm going to put Derek on the bus, take a shower, then transform into my alter-ego to slink next door to spend the day with T.  I should have a costume.  I guess that I'll have to work on that.  Maybe something in red.  He said that he likes me in red ;).

It's not easy keeping all the balls in the air. I play the role of the perfect wife like nothing has changed, and I'm good at it.  I bake the cookies, and clean the house, drive Derek to boys scouts and soccer.  Everything is the same as it was, but is also very different.  I feel confident, attractive and desirable for the first time in my life, and it is because of T.  With him, I can do no wrong, and I love him for that.

I do see him during the week, but as his next door neighbor.  I'll wave to him when Derek or P is around--can't ignore him, or it would be too suspicious. Even when he offered to help me in with the groceries, with Derek standing right there, I could not say no (not that I wanted to, because I had this sudden need to smell his cologne).  I have to keep this charade going, but it's awfully hard to make casual conversation with someone, when all you want to do is jump his bones. 

I cannot even mention his name to my friends all, for fear that I might expose my hidden feelings of desire for him.  Forget about telling them about the affair.  Both of them are in happy marriages and totally in love, living the so-called "perfect life".  They would not understand how I have looked for affection outside of my home, and of course there is this fear that Roberta will find out and spread the news around the world.  I am alone with this one, but for now, I am okay with that.  I'm a Superwoman!