Wednesday, September 2, 2015


I'm down 23 lbs since I started.  I should be happy, right? I guess this "feeling sick", "can't eat", "lack of sleep" and "worrying" stuff is paying off.  Hooray,  I should patent this diet.

I'm also cleaning the house like a mad woman.  It started on Saturday (wonder why).  I've washed floors, cleaned out and washed the refrigerator, scrubbed the bathroom high and low.  I guess that it's Penance for what I have done, but a immaculate household cannot wash away my mistake.  The memories remain.

Another problem is that Chloe's having a Labor Day barbecue at her house this weekend. She invited all her neighbors, family and friends.  I would rather stay home and avoid seeing anybody, like I have all week.   I'm afraid that they will see the guilt in my eyes.  I don't want to face them,  however, I will have to go because Derek is looking forward to it, and I don't want to let him down.  Plus, Chloe is my best female friend, and I don't want to let her down either.  I just have to put on my happy face and act like I am not dying inside.

I guess that I don't have to worry about T being there.  I'm sure that Chloe invited him, although he is still MIA.  Will he ever come back?

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