Did he really say "skinny ass"? Go figure. I never thought I'd ever hear those two words directed at me. But, after four months of dieting, exercising, worrying, crying, and stress cleaning, I have lost 30 lbs. I'm almost at my goal weight, and I didn't even realize that I was this close. So much else has been going on. Weight loss has been the least of my problems.
Later on, while we sat on the couch in the living room, the conversation turned to my situation. T assured me that I shouldn't worry, and that he knows in his heart that P will take me back, and it would be sooner rather than later. I was a bit doubtful, but he insisted that P loves Derek too much to let the family fall apart. P just needed time, and he knew that I would not give up until my family was back on track. When the time comes, T is ready to take himself out of the picture. His bags are already packed.
Then, of course, I said something stupid. I told him that it wouldn't be as easy for me to leave him (insinuating that was easy for him to pack up and leave me). He bristled when I said that. He said that it was incredibly hard for him to leave. He would much rather that I picked him, instead of P, but he knew that it was not going to happen.
So much for the easy conversation.
But the uneasiness did not last long, as he suddenly dropped the subject. He started to talk about the weather of all things. It was a desperate act--grasping at straws to avoid talking about the inevitable. Ignoring the reality that even though we love each other, we are doomed to be apart.