Yesterday was our 11th wedding anniversary. It was a big deal...but only to Derek. He seemed to be the only one excited about it. I was apprehensive about the day, and Philip was indifferent. Derek made us a card filled with crayon drawings and misspelled words--I will treasure it forever. It was the only good thing that happened all day.
As for the actual day, all I can say is that I tried. I had dinner ready for him when he and Derek got home from an outing--Roast Beef, mashed potatoes, etc.--everything that Philip liked. I tried to make the rest of the day special, since they were gone for most of it, but he was not in the mood to act like the happily married couple. Eventually, I felt the same way.
I tried to be patient when he told me that he was not hungry, still recovering from the large Thanksgiving meal the day before. Beside, they grabbed some "take out" on the road. Derek and he planned to head directly towards the living room to watch a college football game.
Philip has not tried at all in these past two weeks. I don't know what I expected, considering the circumstances of our near split. He actually volunteered to go into work on the day after Thanksgiving, when others have off, until Derek begged him to stay home and take him somewhere. I guess that he thought that it would been too hard to spend four full days in a row with me without the cushion of a work day. Forty eight hours on the weekend is long enough. Ninety-six? Well, I guess that it was an impossibility.
I know..."Give him time". I am trying to do just that. You don't have to remind me that it's my fault that my marriage is down the toilet. However, he could try to make it easier for both of us. We could be like before--platonic roommates living in the same house, but trying, at least, to be civil to one another. Right now, climbing that mountain seems to be insurmountable.
FYI, I am not sulking.
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