Sorry about that last post. I even depressed myself when I read it, and I can only imagine what anyone else thought. I almost deleted it because it was so...damned...pitiful. But, it was about what's going on, so I kept it. Maybe it was because of the rain, or the fact that it was a dreaded Wednesday where memories flood back into my head like a tsunami. I guess that I should not blog when I'm having a bad day.
I've come to realize (at last) that I have become a bloggy bummer. I'm going to change that. I'm determined to snap out of it. As for this blog, there will be no more self-absorbed, melancholic and downright pitiful posts. I'm sure that everyone (including me) is sick of reading them, and I don't mean to bum anyone out. I'm just venting, and you've been my ventee (is that a word?).
My life now is what I chose, and even though it is not perfect, I have to live with it. I'm making a promise to myself to stop whining like a five year old. Time to pick myself off the ground, dust the dirt off of my clothes and get on with it. Get back to my, as Mark once told me, "Soap opera and Oprah watching, bored housewife" life. Did he really say that? Yes he did. It was back in June at the restaurant, when I still hated him. Didn't post that little detail at the time, but it was one of the reasons that I doused him with iced tea--among others. He had this gift of saying whatever was on his mind, and at that time, I did not appreciate it.
Life was so much simpler then. I knew what the ground rules were. I've got to get back to that. Unfortunately, my posts will become boring, but so will my life. Life in the fast lane was definitely more exciting, but I don't think that it was worth it.
Maybe I should find a hobby. Thanksgiving is coming, and I have much to be thankful for. I am a lucky woman, considering all that I've been through. I'm going to bury myself in holiday cheer (not the liquid kid, if you're wondering), busy myself with Christmas shopping, baking, etc. Help out with school parties and events. I'll be all right. From now on, it's time to grow up, accept the facts of my life, and make the best out of it. I am a strong woman...after all--or I will be. Like the song says, "I will survive!"
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