Wednesday, March 16, 2016


You know I looked for an image for "give up".  All that I seemed to find were images for "don't give up", or "never give up".  I had to make my own, because that's what I am going to do.  I've decided to give up on this wild goose chase. 

I don't know why I tried to look for T, but I have concluded that I  had temporarily lost my mind.   Maybe it was because I felt bad about how we left things, but he was not blind sided, as Trudi has suggested.  I knew that I would pick Derek, and he knew it too.   He knows me.  He knows that I would never be happy if I was away from my son.  I think that is why he won't let me find him now. 

I've been having vivid dreams, day and night, about a wonderful reunion.  I would find him, tell him that I still love and miss him, and from then on, we would be together.   I could be with him, and I would not lose Derek to a bitter P.  Somehow, everything would work out perfectly, and everyone would be happy.  That is just a fantasy, of course.   I wish that I could have a romance novel ending, but that's not going to happen in real life.  It's time to let go of the fantasy. 

So, it's back to real life.  I have my son, who is content with life the way it is.  I have my small business, which continues to grow little by little.  Spring is around the corner, and plenty of activities follow.  I have no time to think of lost hopes and dreams.  It's time to develop new dreams.

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